4. Left 4 Dead

I hate forests. I hate trains. I hate zombies. Yea, well Francis, I don't hate them. As my top 5 will show I am quite partial to flesh eaters and brain dead shufflers. Blowing off limbs, cursing seemingly erratic horde charges, ingesting entire bottles of pain pills (which apparently just make you run fast) and carrying red gas cans to strategically hit the Z's where it hurts most...the brain.

Bill was my vicarious avatar to stalk the walking dead streets in Left 4 Dead. I walked the sewers and the streets and the rooftops with that old, crotchety man painting walls brain colors and jamming LT furiously to get out of jams. One tip for the inexperienced player...MELEE. Unfortunately it's not as "convenient" as Modern Warfare 2 where someone is sniping me from an abandoned garage and then all of a sudden are sticking a knife in my chest. OK, Infinity Ward, that's not a "perk", that's fucking infuriating. Commando ability my ass. Point is, flailing your gun while those grey celled monsters are swarming you and Luis is having a tea party with Zoe and Francis is too busy hatin to help you detach some limbs, is the best way to get out of a tight spot. Also, it puts you in a spot where your stomach is clinched and if you weren't on your fake leather sofa playing you'd be shitting your pants. I'd never really felt that way playing a video game before. Sure, the Resident Evil's are creepy and Dr. Eggman from sonic always scared me as a kid (damn him and his molester mustache), but I'd never clinched. When I popped this disc in during one of my breaks in college (and by breaks I mean skipping Sociology, like anyone gives a shit) to play this, the first time the tiny horn sounds like a retreat call on a Civil War battlefield, and all those zombies coming sprinting and shambling down the halls of a decrepit house, I turned to my friend and was like, "We're fucked. There's no way out!" But he snapped me out of it Patton style, "Get your head out of your ass, soldier, and pour it into em!" We pump action shot gunned that horde and I've never looked back. Claw your way to the red door safe rooms. Make last stands in the corn field with only dual pistols left, your other guns smoking and empty. Light the Witch Bitch on fire and let her scream. Read the writing on the walls (Entire city is gone. If you can read this...LEAVE!) Let the yellow burst of your gun blowing out rounds guide you. It's always 8:24 according to the clock in the first house. That's when the Zombie Apocalypse starts! There is no cure. There is no escape. There is only getting past the wretches of Boomers to a loading screen where you see Louis only managed to nix 25 Z's. Total.